It was Winter
by The one-winged pegasus
Summary: Present day AU. Sirius and Remus live with Lily, James and Harry. A wintertime trip to Edinburgh upsets their relationship as Remus meets up with an old flame and they begin to lose trust in eachother and the strength of their relationship. Please R & R!


It was winter. December 17th to be precise, 12:42 to be pedantic. It was two-pairs-of-socks cold, with that sort of wintry sky, crisp, grey, full and yet empty. Saturated clouds hung in suspended animation, pregnant, a promise of snow. Remus stood on the steps, stamping his feet.

"Well, see you." He glanced up at Sirius from under his wire frames, breath clouding.

Sirius nodded a goodbye, closing the door.

Remus grasped for the closing gap, desperate, "Wait."

Sirius clasped the side of the door, fingers trembling, face blank, "What?"

"Is this it?"

"Is what it?" He pulled the door half open, giving a glimpse down their half decorated hallway, something that Sirius always insisted he'd get around to.

"I'm going away you know."

"…I know." He sighed, cloudy breath quickly dissipating.

A wry smile, "Is that a real goodbye?"

"Is _see you _a real goodbye?"

"I was hoping that you'd respond."

"I didn't know what to say." He paused, "Nothing seemed…good enough."

Remus quirked an eyebrow, "There are a number of acceptable responses, not in the least _goodbye_."

They were standing, staring, as if the whole world was motionless.

Sirius gave in, "C'mere you," and wrapped Remus in a bear hug, attempting to say what he couldn't vocalise. "Be careful."

"I will," Remus mumbled into Sirius's neck, breathing in comfort.

"Text me, ok?"

"I'll try my best."

Sirius squeezed harder, "Not good enough,"

"I promise." Remus buried his face further into Sirius's neck and breathed in once more.

"Right, if you leave it any longer you'll be late." Sirius held Remus by the shoulders, a wolfish grin playing across his face.

"I know."

"I'll be here when you get back."

"I know."

"Well, off you go." He gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.

"See you."

"_Goodbye_." He grinned, pointedly, and turned back to the door.

Remus walked the rest of the path to the gate; day-old snow crunching underfoot, feeling, really feeling, the cold on his face. He turned to wave one more goodbye but found that Sirius had already closed the door. He sighed and hailed a cab.

/

Sirius stood, back to the door, prickling with goosebumps, his breath coming in rapid bursts.

"Damn it." He slammed his fist into the door, rattling the paintwork, and stalked down the hallway, stepping over wayward wallpaper brushes and into the kitchen.

James was already there, all low slung pyjama bottoms and steaming mugs of tea.

"He's gone?"

"For six weeks." Sirius slumped into the armchair by the stove, grabbing an orange from the fruit bowl.

"Sad?"

"Hmm." He considered it, peeling the orange. "Sort of. More inadequate."

"What d'you mean?" James swung his legs onto a stool, dragging it over towards the stove and sat, legs astride.

"Didn't say everything I wanted to."

"I'm sure he knows. He must do."

"Dunno mate."

"Hmm. Well there's only one cure in times like this." Sirius looked up from his orange as James rummaged for a few beers in the fridge. "Only, don't tell Lil. I'm not supposed to be drinking around the baby."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Now let's get your mind off him. Want to learn to change a nappy?"

"You have the weirdest ways of cheering me up."

"But at least you're cheering up," James took a swig of his beer and handed the other to Sirius. "Bottoms up…in more ways than one."

/

Remus got off the plane at Edinburgh. It was cold here too, but a breathless sort of cold, exciting. Breathing heavily into his scarf, he made a beeline for a coffee shop, any coffee shop and found one teetering on a street corner. It was ramshackled but blessedly warm. Stumbling through and disentangling his layers of winter clothing, he ordered a coffee and waited at a table by the window, frosting his breath on the glass.

"Thank you," The waitress had brought his drink over. He savoured it, watching the world go by. It was different to London; people were in less of a hurry. He smiled at a couple ambling by, arm in arm, carefree and loving. He got out his phone to text Sirius but found a drought of words. He settled with the unexciting,

Plane journey good. Coffee break before check in at hotel. Miss you x

After pressing send, he realised quite how clinical it sounded and wondered if Sirius would be offended.

/

His phone buzzed just as they'd settled down to a film.

"Don't you know my policy about texting in the cinema Sirius Black?" Lily had come back from the shops, rosy cheeked and quietly disapproving of the empty beer bottles in the baby's room. They had made a habit of _going to the cinema _every Sunday and this week was no different, although there was a noticeable absence of one of the regulars.

"Give him a break, Lil." James draped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. She softened, glancing at Sirius, who tapped a response,

Miss u too x

"Sorry Lily. Here, have one of my Maltesers."

"You do know how to show a girl a good time."

"Well, I'd say it was to make up for the film myself." James grinned, tapping the case.

"I can't think what you mean," Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, "You know how much I enjoy girls, guns and gore."

"You made us watch a chick flick last week," Sirius protested, rearranging the cushions.

"And if I remember correctly you cried." Lily flicked popcorn across the sofa.

"I was choking on a Dorito, ok?"

"Sure you were, mate." James grinned, "Maltesers were a much better choice this week, less corners to get choked up on."

"…shut up."

"Shhh. It's starting."

/

_08:45 U up yet? X_

_10:11 Sorry. Only just got your text x_

_10:13 Dnt worry about it. Hows Edinburgh? X_

_10:23 Cold. Very cold. Nice hotel. Great breakfast! x_

_10:26 Im glad. Cant wait to see u xx_

_10:42 Me either x_

_10:43 Wat u up to today? x_

_/_

After finishing a rather hearty breakfast, Remus found himself staring at the handset in his hotel room. He toyed with the buttons, pressing the receiver to his ear and dialling a half remembered number. After putting it back down and feeling the dull ringing resonating in his ear, he found his address book and dialled the number. It rang three times,

"…hello? Tonks residence."

"Dora?"

"Yeah…is that?"

"Yeah, yeah it is." He smiled.

"God, how are you? What's with this- calling out of the blue?"

"I'm in Edinburgh."

"Oh…"

"Is that a problem...?"

"No, no!" She sounded excited, "Far from it. I'm just surprised. I never see you any more."

"Well, now's your chance." He smiled, warmly.

"Well lucky for you, I'm free today."

"Excellent. Want to, you know, meet up?" He felt his mobile buzz and threw it onto the bed.

"Sure, sure, of course."

"Want to meet for dinner?"

"I'd love to. I know this great Italian."

"Text me the address and I'll see you there at seven?"

"Sounds like a plan. See you!"

"See you…" He whispered it into the dialling tone, exhaling, breathless.

/

"C'mon Harry. Play along!" Sirius bundled his godson into his winter clothes, struggling against the boy's desire to pull the clothes back off. The mittens somehow found Harry's hands and with his ruddy face peeping out from under a woolly hat, Sirius deemed him ready. Clutching him at the hip, he made his way into the crisp, winter sunshine, locking the door and treading the path to the playground.

If Sirius was being honest with himself, he was thinking about Remus a lot. Missing him. A lot. He missed him when the sudoku went unfinished, when there were still those awful green chocolates in the selection box, when the empty half of his bed ached, cavernous. He agreed to take care of Harry to take his mind off it, but wasn't entirely convinced that it worked.

Harry smiled, gummy, and Sirius grinned back. There was no use in ruining Harry's day.

"There we go, little fella." He lowered Harry into the swing, mindful of his flailing limbs and enjoyed an afternoon in the brisk sunlight, with a 99 cheering him on the walk back to their flat.

/

On the way to the restaurant he had picked up some sunflowers. They nestled, obtrusive, in the nook of his arm. He considered going back for carnations after all the curious looks but knew that he had made the right decision once he laid eyes on Tonks. Buckled, belted, safety pinned and purple, she rose, smiling from the bench.

"Remus! How _are _you?" She bundled him into a hug, crushing the sunflowers in the process. Neither seemed to mind.

"Great, actually. Thanks, really great. You're looking very well."

"Thank you," she blushed, "What do you think of the purple- too much?" She tugged at a strand of hair thoughtfully.

"Not at all, it looks wonderful." They both beamed, glowing. "Here- I brought these for you."

"My fave!" She seemed genuinely pleased and they passed the time from ordering to starters making idle chitchat, about work, family, life.

"So," She took a bite of bruschetta, "You haven't told me what you're doing in Edinburgh?"

Remus finished his sip of wine, "I freelance so I'm here to write a piece on the city. Places to go, people to see, all that."

"Well you can definitely recommend this place, it's gorgeous." She beamed at the mock-Tuscan interior and continued with her meal.

"Mmm much better than my local."

"Hah I bet. Where are you living again?"

"London."

"The big smoke. I don't know Remus," She leant her elbows on the table, "I never thought you much of a London man."

"It's the bookshops," He took another sip of wine, "and the coffee shops."

"We have both of those in Edinburgh."

"Really? To rival London?"

"Of course!" She drew herself up, proudly. "I'll show you."

"Will you now?"

"I'll take you on a tour. It'll be for your guide, so you can't give me an excuse about needing to work."

"That's settled then."

"Cheers to that." They chinked glasses.

/

_19:34 Took H to the park today. Little tyke wore me out! x_

_19:55 Can I call you later? I'm in the middle of dinner with a colleague x_

_20:00 Course. Speak soon x_

/

"Mmm. Now _that," _she said, gesturing to her empty plate, "is what I call a meal."

"Indeed." It was late and Remus was comfortably tipsy.

Tonks smiled across the table, playing with her purple hair.

The waiter approached with a little metal tray, "Don't worry, I'll get the bill."

"I don't think so," Tonks looked indignant. "How much can you earn as a freelance journalist? We'll split it."

"If you insist." He'd had too much Chianti to argue.

After paying, they turned to part outside the restaurant.

"It was great to see you again, Remus." She kissed him on the cheek, coyly if he wasn't much mistaken.

"You too." He returned the favour.

"I'll call you about the coffee-book tour!" She squeezed his hand and walked down towards the bright lights of the main road."

"I look forward to it." He watched her go, sunflowers clutched in her gloved hands.

/

"…hello?" It was 2am and Sirius was groggy.

"It's me."

He woke up instantly, "Remus! How are you?"

"S'good, thanks."

"…are you drunk?"

"Tipsy."

"Guess that business meeting went well."

"Business meeting?"

"You said you had dinner with a colleague?"

"Oh yes. That. It was good. We went to, to an Italian."

"Like that one near us?"

"Not as good."

"I should hope not. Nothing beats London."

"Mmmm."

Silence.

"Sorry to cut it short, but I have got work tomorrow. So have you for that matter!"

"Sorry."

"It's alright. It's good to hear from you."

"You too."

"I'll call you soon."

"Good."

"Speak soon and sleep well!"

He hung up.

"I'm sorry."


End file.
